Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of year for our family. We get to celebrate each other, eat until we are stuffed, and remember why we are thankful. I am overjoyed that we spend Thanksgiving with my in-laws, even if that means I miss the festivities with my Mom. Nana and Grandpa do so much for us, it's nice to treat them to a meal (even though Nana thinks it's too much work when it's not).  This year, we have an extra special blessing we are thankful for.  A new baby that God knit in my womb, and unexpected blessing. 
Today is also a hard day for me.  I miss my dad.  No, he isn't in Heaven or passed, but we are estranged.  It's hard for me sometimes, and during the holidays I find myself longing for traditions I grew up with.  As I stood and mixed the sour cream and onion dip to snack on, I was overcome with tears.  Not because of the onions, but because of the representation.  Growing up I lived with my dad when my parents divorced - long story short.  Since I was raised by a man, a lot of manly things came with that.  That included tons of snacks before dinner - olives, sweet pickles, and the famous chips and dip.  Oh, and FOOTBALL! How could I forget.  We had the normal thanksgiving feast with all the extras.
As I prepare the meal today (minus the turkeys, Travis is smoking those) I am thankful, but I have a heavy heart.  It is hard to be apart from someone you've known your whole life, someone you love, but someone you had to set boundaries for.  I don't like that I had to make choices that hurt our relationship, but I do know that My God knows my heart.  He knows the hurt it has caused, the pain and tears I am sure we have both shed, and what heaven will look like for the both of us.  Today I think of my dad, wishing him a happy thanksgiving.  I pray he is not alone, that he is surrounded by those that care for him. 
There is one thing I know deep in my heart - that regardless of how far apart we have grown, he will always be my dad, and he will always be loved by me.  He may not see things that way, but I know things were simply too difficult for us to continue a relationship that was unhealthy. 
So Dad, wherever you are, whatever are you doing, I pray that your Thanksgiving is a blessing to you. That you feel the love and support of others, and offer the same in return. I pray that you know that I love you and I miss you.  Not a day goes by that you escape my thoughts.  Though we may not have an earthly relationship, I look forward to Heaven and rejoicing with you there.  Until then, I pray all is well with you.